Work From Home Parenting
[with a chronic illness]
Navigating the chaos of working from home while managing a chronic illness and raising a child is no small feat. Life is already unreliable and inconsistent, adding a body that doesn’t cooperate and a toddler ensures nothing less than a corkscrew and banana roll filled roller coaster. Here are some tips that have helped tame my days and allow spoons to still be available to be the type of parent I want to be:
1. Build a Strong Support System
Having a reliable support network is crucial. I couldn’t navigate the challenges of chronic illness and motherhood without the support of my support system. You can’t do it all on your own, and let’s face it, no one expects you to. Here’s how to make the most of your support system:
Lean on Your Partner: They can help manage tasks or take over parenting duties when you're feeling unwell. They can simply take over making parenting decisions for the day or give you 20 minutes to allow yourself to reset.
Schedule Regular You-Time: Date nights, girls' nights, or solo time are vital for recharging. Don’t underestimate the power of a little personal downtime.
Utilize Additional Help: Consider options like preschool, a nanny, or family assistance for even a few hours during the work day to ease your workload happening at the same time. This not only allows your spoons to last you till later in the day but also provides your child with social interaction and learning opportunities.
2. Embrace the Power of Naps
When your chronic illness gives you the ‘nope’ signal, don’t waste nap time on laundry. Instead, use it to recharge your energy. Instead of using nap time to tackle chores, take that opportunity to rest or enjoy a bit of relaxation, watch TV with your partner or take a nap yourself.
3. Let Go of Perfectionism at Home
Your home doesn’t have to be spotless to be a loving environment. Here’s how to manage:
Embrace a Lived-In Look: It's okay if your home looks like it’s actually lived in. Focus on functionality over aesthetics. Pretty baskets that can be used for all the miscellaneous clutter you find throughout the day that you can put away once or twice a week.
Prioritize Essentials: Your family needs clean clothes; it doesn’t NEED to be perfectly put away. What can you add to a frozen meal that makes it healthier rather than cooking from scratch?
Involve Your Child: Let your kiddo help out. It might not be perfect, but they’re entertained by the task instead of undoing something else. Even just letting them play in the sink while you do dishes. Plus, you’re teaching them valuable life skills—like how to do a mediocre job at folding clothes.
4. Set Up Easy, No-Prep Activities
You still have work to get done with a child who is craving entertainment, having go-to activities that require minimal preparation can be a lifesaver. It doesn’t have to be elaborate or always something new, something simple is more likely to keep their attention longer.
Purchased Favorites:
DIY Favorites: Simple, homemade sensory bins from the Dollar Store can provide hours of entertainment without much effort.
5. Use Visual Timers
Visual timers are fantastic tools as young children do not understand the concept of time. If your child seems to really be craving your attention, set a 2-5 minute timer and say “I can give you all of my attention for 5 minutes and then I will have to get back to work”. Or set the timer to show when you will be able to take your next break with them.
6. Find What Works for You
Everyone’s situation is unique, so find routines and activities that fit your needs. For example, when my partner travels for work, we have a special evening routine: we grab pizza from a local spot, get a special drink from Sonic, and walk around Target. It’s a simple, relatively low cost, yet effective way to enjoy time together and takes less energy than me trying to find ways to entertain at home.
Remember, it’s all about finding balance and giving yourself grace along the way. Every family is different, every child is unique, but hopefully these few tips can help you find what works best for you!